Do you have a bad boss ? If yes, then this is for you.
It was a Monday, dull and gray,
When my boss approached in a curious way.
With a clipboard clutched in their hand,
They said, “Let’s talk about lunch; I have a plan.”
I blinked, unsure what to say,
As they outlined the menu of the day.
“No more chips, they’re too greasy and thin,
You’ll eat carrots now, that’s where we’ll begin.”
“You see, a balanced diet is key,
And you’ve been eating unhealthily.
So let’s switch out that soda for tea,
And why not try this kale recipe?”
I stared, bewildered, at the screen,
Was this real life or some strange dream?
“Excuse me, boss,” I finally spoke,
“But my lunch isn’t up for a vote.”
They grinned, ignoring my protest,
“Now, about those sandwiches, let’s invest—
In some whole grain bread, forget the white,
It’s better for you and feels just right.”
I cringed as they opened a spreadsheet,
Listing all the things I shouldn’t eat.
“No more donuts, no more fries,
We’re going to make your waistline shrink in size!”
“But boss,” I said, “This seems extreme,
My lunch isn’t part of the team.
It’s my personal time, my little break,
Not a corporate project for you to remake.”
They nodded, as if I hadn’t spoken,
And handed me a salad they’d just broken.
“Here’s your new lunch, it’s nutritious and lean,
With organic veggies and protein clean.”
I sighed and took the bowl with dread,
Wondering if my sanity had fled.
As I stared at the limp lettuce leaf,
My hunger turned to disbelief.
I missed my burger, juicy and wide,
With a side of fries, crisp and fried.
But my boss had turned into a food cop,
And it seemed their mission would never stop.
“You’ll thank me later,” they cheerily said,
As they measured my salad with an eye for bread.
“No more desserts, no sugary snacks,
We’ll keep you on the healthiest tracks.”
I glanced at my coworkers, eyes full of pity,
As they munched on pizza, oh so pretty.
While I poked at my tasteless lunch,
My boss kept talking, in an endless bunch.
“Tomorrow, we’ll try quinoa and fish,
It’s brain food, you know, quite delish!
And maybe we’ll add a green smoothie or two,
To keep your energy fresh and new.”
I tuned them out, as I nibbled my greens,
Daydreaming of chocolate and jelly beans.
This micromanaging was way too much,
Why couldn’t they just leave my lunch?
At last, the clock hit one o’clock,
And I fled the break room, ready to balk.
I made a vow as I reached my desk,
To sneak in snacks and do my best.
To keep my lunch under wraps,
Away from my boss’s calorie traps.
And maybe, just maybe, I’d survive the week,
Without my boss turning into a lunch critique.
So if your boss ever gets the urge,
To micromanage your midday splurge,
Stand your ground, keep your lunch your own,
Or you’ll find yourself in a food-control zone!
And as for me, I’ve learned the art,
Of keeping my lunch break smart.
A hidden stash, a secret treat,
Because no boss should ever manage what you eat!
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